Ready for a crazy Premiership season?

(I wrote this article early last week, in preparation for a busy week moving back in to school. My apologies if some statements seem outdated, since obviously the first week of the Premiership was crazy. I'll be back next week, with updated thoughts on the opening weeks of the season.)

As fun as hearing 20,000 stories about David Villa and Franck Ribery has been all summer, it's about time that the Premiership's opening weekend kicked some life into the soccer world. Every season promises something fresh and exciting, but 2009-10 is multiply intriguing, as both the build-up to a World Cup and the beginning of possible mayhem at the top of the table.

Since Manchester City spent their billions in the off-season, the traditional order in the table is under threat. There are now at least five legitimate threats for the four Champions League spots, so inevitably, one club will be disappointed in the return on their investment. As a result, the threat of losing all that European cash will make the competition much more ruthless at the top of the table. In all likelihood, this competition will trickle down through the rest of the league as well, so it’s bound to be a heated year in the Premiership.

And so, this is my prediction for the final table of the upcoming Premiership season. I’ll be the first to admit that these exercises are long and stupid, since all the upheaval in the offseason makes nothing predictable, plus managers and players get fired and injured unexpectedly during the season. It’s still fun to look back at our perspectives once the season ends though, and if you don’t want to read my blabbering now, you can always skip to the end for a predicted table.

So, in reverse order:

It Was Fun While It Lasted

20. Hull City

They ended last season on the worst run of form I've ever seen that didn't end in relegation. They've lost two players, and brought in two “unproven” replacements, despite the increasingly heated competition at the bottom. And despite those signings, it looks like nobody’s first choice to play for Phil Brown ever since his ridiculous antics at Manchester City. How could they not be the biggest impending disaster in the Premiership?

19. Portsmouth

…However, Portsmouth doesn’t look too far behind in that column. The club has to sell before they buy, and they lost Glen Johnson while only bringing in an aging Steve Finnan and unproven Frenchman Frederic Piquionne. Everything could change if their sale to Sulaiman al-Fahim goes through, but if that doesn’t happen before the end of the transfer period, Portsmouth will have trouble in the first half, and that'll prove fatal.

18. Wolverhampton Wanderers

The last relegation spot looks like it’ll be a dogfight, and I don’t expect Wolves to have enough firepower to carry them through. They’ve added a couple players to a good squad, including Kevin Doyle and Marcus Hahnemann, but they just don’t have enough Premiership experience. Much will depend on the contributions of club fixture Sylvan Ebanks-Blake.

Fighting the Downward Tide

17. Birmingham City

Birmingham could finally end their yo-yo between the Premiership and Championship. Barry Ferguson was a great addition to a team that has narrowly missed staying up before. They’ll still have to fight off a strong challenge from Wolves though.

16. Blackburn Rovers

Last year’s side finished 15th, and despite signing Franco di Santo on a short-term loan, I don’t think they’ve made enough improvements to do any better. Sam Allardyce will struggle to keep this team up.

15. Stoke City

Tony Pulis’ side has lost nobody of huge importance from last year’s strongarm side, and they’ve added experienced midfielder Dean Whitehead. A workmanlike side that frustrated Liverpool and Arsenal last year should continue their relative success in the Premiership.

14. Burnley

Owen Coyle’s Burnley is the perfect example of how to promote a team the right way. He’s placed his faith in young players to get the team up, and new signings Richard Eckersley and David Edgar have the same drive to make a statement in the Premiership. Hard work will make up for whatever gulf in talent they suffer from as a newly promoted side.

Stuck in the Middle:

13. Bolton

Has any coaching change been less beneficial to both parties than Sam Allardyce leaving Bolton in 2007? Since those European days, Allardyce has suffered disaster at Newcastle and now struggles to keep Blackburn afloat, while Bolton is stuck in Premiership purgatory, neither threatened by relegation nor tempted by Europe. They play possibly the least attractive soccer of any team in the Premier League, but as they have proved over the last many years, that’ll probably keep them floating along this year.

12. Wigan

Steve Bruce had this club humming along, and most of the same players and system remain. Antonio Valencia’s departure definitely left a hole to fill, but Scott Sinclair coming in on loan surely provides firepower. Bruce’s scouting will eventually be missed, but for now, Wigan seems stable.

11. Sunderland

Thanks to Steve Bruce’s recruiting power, Sunderland have had a hell of an offseason, with Frazier Campbell, Lorik Cana, and Darren Bent providing some big names and needed talent at the Stadium of Light. They’re certainly a club on the rise, but they don’t play as consistently as the teams chasing Europe. Sunderland might still chase those spots though, if Bruce totally transforms this team’s mentality.

The Hunt for Europe:

10. West Ham

Luis Jimenez is a good signing, but as Craig Bellamy, Diego Tristan, and David di Michele leave, West Ham might have trouble scoring goals. The negatives outweigh the positives for the Hammers this offseason, but not enough to knock them too far down the table.

9. Fulham

It seems like Fulham’s offseason was more about holding onto their players than attracting new names, and in that sense, they did well to keep Brede Hangeland and Andrew Johnson. They’re a great squad that will consistently challenge for Europe, but aren’t quite making a push for the Champions League like the teams above them.

8. Aston Villa

Cued by Gareth Barry’s move to Manchester City, big departures and big signings have marked a new era for Aston Villa. Fabian Delph will take time to make his mark on the Premiership, and Stewart Downing will be out until roughly 2010, so this might be considered a transition year of sorts at Villa Park.

7. Everton

Everton’s biggest boost will be a healthy squad, as Jo, Yakubu, and Mikel Arteta return to strengthen a team that finished 5th and runners-up in the FA Cup without them. Their predicted drop in the standings is more a result of the next two teams making huge strides, while Everton continue their consistent progress.

6. Tottenham Hotspur

Harry Redknapp had this team looking deadly by the end of last season, and I only expect Peter Crouch’s partnership with Jermaine Defoe to make the machine run more smoothly. Finally given some relative stability, this talented squad should find its groove and stop underachieving.

5. Manchester City

Given all of their activity, it might be surprising to see them outside the Champions League, but there’s a reason why ‘World XI’ teams often lose against lesser-skilled teams. You can’t just throw good players together and expect results, because they need time to understand each other, to find an identity. City will beat lots of less talented teams, but it’ll take some struggles in close matches for them to finally realize their full potential. By the end of this season, we’ll see the beginnings of a true force.

Nice To See You Again:

4. Arsenal

I don’t understand why Arsene Wenger hasn’t learned his lesson: selling more talent than he buys isn’t getting him anywhere higher in the table. I’d be convinced that City would kick them out of the Champions League spots for that reason, except that Andrei Arshavin is the Premier League’s next superstar, no questions about it. He’ll need more talent around him though, so Wenger should start spending that Adebayor/Toure cash soon.

3. Liverpool

I had them in second until they sold Xabi Alonso, and I honestly think he would have been the difference maker this season. As is, Alberto Aquilani is good, but it’d be a hell of a debut season to be the heartbeat that Alonso was last year. Glen Johnson isn’t the guy that’s going to make up the difference between Liverpool and Manchester United, and it doesn’t seem like Rafa Benitez has made any effort to find that person, even with all the Arbeloa/Alonso cash. Unless Torres and Gerrard somehow find yet another gear to step up to, Liverpool will be exactly where they have been since 1990: looking up the table.

2. Manchester United

A stellar preseason should eliminate any doubts about United’s ability to adapt post-Ronaldo, especially since they should have beaten Chelsea in the Community Shield. Some questions have yet to be answered about Michael Owen, but Antonio Valencia has shattered expectations with electric displays so far, and Wayne Rooney has proved that he can be the go-to guy on this team. As I wrote earlier this summer, Ronaldo’s departure has cleared the way for the team as a whole to flourish, and these are still great days to be a Red Devil.

1.Chelsea

What an effect a coach can have on a team. As a stellar World Football Challenge proved in the preseason, Carlo Ancelotti has Chelsea playing ruthlessly, and he is maximizing all of the traits that have been lacking at times since Jose Mourinho, Once again, nobody is going to beat them at Stamford Bridge, and once again, Drogba is going to score almost at will. Given Ancelotti’s mastery of the Champions League, this could even be their year to conquer Europe, unless Real Madrid has something to say about that. The Blues will be feared as they earn the title this year.

Predicted Table

1.Chelsea

2. Manchester United

3. Liverpool

4. Arsenal

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5. Manchester City

6. Tottenham Hotspur

7. Everton

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8. Aston Villa

9. Fulham

10. West Ham

11. Sunderland

12. Wigan

13. Bolton

14. Burnley

15. Stoke City

16. Blackburn Rovers

17. Birmingham City

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18. Wolverhampton Wanderers

19. Portsmouth

20. Hull City